He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
