loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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