You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
