Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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