umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
