no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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