ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Randomize
