why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
