man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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