There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
