remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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