They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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