508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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