So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
