2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize