So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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