I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
