Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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