Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
