I wish my penis had an off switch
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize