you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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