Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
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I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
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I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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