dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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