my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
