Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
