hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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