All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
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went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
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So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
false alarm, still single
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