nut hugger
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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