My room smells like vodka and shame
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
