You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
