office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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