It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
