the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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