So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Randomize
