Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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