my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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