Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
