I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
