His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
