whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
