8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
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SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
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Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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