garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize