I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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