Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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