shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize