i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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