you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
