Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize