i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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