you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Randomize
