I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize