i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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