I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
