I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
