I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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