We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
