I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
