More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I am mentally ready for anal.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize