About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
