You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
