That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I can't put those talents on a resume
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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