3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
