our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
