areolas are like halos for boobs.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
