I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
