that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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